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Happy New Year! I wish each of you a healthy, happy, and fulfilling one. For just a moment, please bear with me as I indulge in a bit of bully pulpit preaching. For over thirty years, I had the blessing and curse of telling people what to do (after considering the evidence and analyzing the law), and it’s a hard habit to break. In these challenging  and often angry times, I urge you to practice and model considerate behavior, patience, and compassionate kindness (especially while wearing your AFCC cap). Inevitably, at some time someone will act in a way that is less than kind toward each of us. When someone cuts in front of you in the grocery store, cuts you off on the road, or takes the parking space you were waiting for, please, instead of reacting  with anger, act with kindness borne out of patience and understanding. Perhaps the transgressor is not fully present in the moment for any number of reasons; they just came from the funeral of a loved one, are rushing to get to the hospital to visit a sick child or they just learned that they have a serious illness. Remember that everyone may be facing unseen challenges. Give the benefit of a doubt that their behavior is based not on selfishness or deliberate rudeness, but on human frailty. Wish them well. By responding with empathy instead of anger, we can help make the world a better place.

Working with court-involved families can be incredibly demanding, often leaving us feeling isolated as we race from appointment to appointment, trying to squeeze in time for progress notes and reports. In the midst of that whirlwind, we may long for connection with colleagues—not just for stress relief, but to gain valuable perspective and have a sounding board. Yet, all too often, that need slips down our list of priorities. So why is that connection with peers so essential?

One of the privileges of leading AFCC is touching base each day with members and contributors throughout the world. In 2025, a common thread ran through these conversations: instability and rapid change.

Therapists report clients overwhelmed by the weight of the moment. Our legal colleagues are challenged in an environment increasingly untethered from norms once assumed fixed. Academics describe what seems like a slide in critical thought and original work. Across the board I hear that our members are both unsettled and eager to harness algorithms and AI, which amplify both the turbulence and promise of what’s ahead. Those shifts are felt throughout AFCC in our programming, task forces, and publications.

Navigating the holiday season with high conflict co-parents can be among the most challenging work faced by family court professionals.  Grievances about the allocation of time sharing, pick-ups and drop-offs, and last-minute scheduling changes can be overwhelming for both professionals and clients.  Here are some tips to share with clients to help make the holiday season a little bit easier before the conflict erupts. What other tips would you add?

1. Have a very specific plan for the holidays so there is no opportunity for confusion or conflict. Parents may alternate or split holidays, but when there is disagreement about this plan, consider the longer view of alternating holidays by even and odd years. Holidays are often a time of heightened emotions, and the reality of the loss associated with separation or divorce is no more apparent than when parents must spend a holiday without their children or without old traditions.