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Working with court-involved families can be incredibly demanding, often leaving us feeling isolated as we race from appointment to appointment, trying to squeeze in time for progress notes and reports. In the midst of that whirlwind, we may long for connection with colleagues—not just for stress relief, but to gain valuable perspective and have a sounding board. Yet, all too often, that need slips down our list of priorities. So why is that connection with peers so essential?

Navigating the holiday season with high conflict co-parents can be among the most challenging work faced by family court professionals.  Grievances about the allocation of time sharing, pick-ups and drop-offs, and last-minute scheduling changes can be overwhelming for both professionals and clients.  Here are some tips to share with clients to help make the holiday season a little bit easier before the conflict erupts. What other tips would you add?

1. Have a very specific plan for the holidays so there is no opportunity for confusion or conflict. Parents may alternate or split holidays, but when there is disagreement about this plan, consider the longer view of alternating holidays by even and odd years. Holidays are often a time of heightened emotions, and the reality of the loss associated with separation or divorce is no more apparent than when parents must spend a holiday without their children or without old traditions.

Leaving an abusive relationship is a dangerous undertaking that comes with an increased risk of post-separation assault and homicide. Children are often either direct targets of, or witnesses to, abuse and control tactics and their emotional and/or physical safety can be in jeopardy during separation. Despite these risks, many survivors, in search of a safer and better life for themselves and their children, take the difficult step of separating from a partner who uses abuse. When they do, they may find themselves navigating family court proceedings as a part of this process.

Divorce is never easy, but when you add the complexity of a beloved dog or cat into the equation, things can become even more difficult and emotional for everyone involved. This article aims to provide some guidelines for divorce professionals to help their clients address the issue of “who keeps the dog?” (or cat!) in a way that minimizes the conflict surrounding the pets in the short term and long term with realistic expectations for the feasibly of the plan and well-being of the animals concerned.