Leaving an abusive relationship is a dangerous undertaking that comes with an increased risk of post-separation assault and homicide. Children are often either direct targets of, or witnesses to, abuse and control tactics and their emotional and/or physical safety can be in jeopardy during separation. Despite these risks, many survivors, in search of a safer and better life for themselves and their children, take the difficult step of separating from a partner who uses abuse. When they do, they may find themselves navigating family court proceedings as a part of this process.
Survivors in these situations often expect that family court will offer safety and justice for themselves and their children. After enduring -- sometimes many years of harmful treatment from a partner – they may hope that their experiences will finally be acknowledged, the truth will come out, and their partner who caused harm will be held accountable for their actions. Instead, they may be met with continued abuse through legal abuse.
Legal abuse is increasingly recognized as a harmful form of coercive control in family law. It involves using several tactics to punish, intimidate, and control the other party. The research is clear: coercive control and ongoing legal abuse can have devastating consequences for those targeted. These dynamics are also harmful to children. Because coercive control and legal abuse can go undetected and dismissed, it is vital to assess for and identify them early so that appropriate safety measures can be put in place. In the following sections, I will define and discuss coercive control and then outline common tactics used by those who extend their use of coercive control via legal abuse.
Coercive Control
Coercive control is an abuse dynamic that involves one partner exercising power and control over another. It is characterized by a pattern of repeated and enduring behaviors that often begin subtly and increase in severity over time. Behaviors include frequent, credible threats paired with demands, constant surveillance/monitoring, and/or isolation. Coercive control may involve the use of force, but it does not always involve physical or sexual violence.
Those who use coercive control create the expectation that they will act on threats. Past episodes of violence -- even if once or infrequent, bragging about prior violence, describing explicit, detailed plans to kill or harm a survivor and/or children, or other methods can contribute to making threats credible.
Those who use this form of abuse also create and exploit the vulnerabilities of those targeted. For example, they may interfere with employment by hiding car keys before a job interview, destroying work clothes, stalking a partner at work, or using other tactics that result in job loss and economic dependency. They may exploit the birth of a child by threatening to withhold payment for a child’s medical bills or school tuition.
As this form of abuse involves one party’s leveraging power and control over another, understanding the power dynamics of parties involved is key to identifying coercive control. This form of abuse has long been considered a gender-based form of violence with women showing elevated consequences and risks, including of homicide. Research also shows that sexual and gender minorities show even higher rates of intimate partner violence than their heterosexual and cisgender counterparts. Taking an intersectional lens that considers multiple identities and sources of power among the parties is thus an important step in determining abuse dynamics present.
In combination, these tactics can result in a profound sense of entrapment and loss of liberty for those targeted. The consequences of coercive control are multifaceted, impacting survivors and children across psychological, emotional, physical, social, and economic domains.
Legal Abuse
A rapidly growing body of research documents how those who use coercive control often continue their abuse in family court via legal abuse. Legal abuse involves many tactics that cause harm to survivors and, at times, children. Examples include:
- Threatening and attempting to take custody and care time: Those who use legal abuse may threaten and attempt to take custody and care time. This appears to be motivated by a wish to harm and punish survivors and not to spend time with children. For example, they may use “custody blackmail” (i.e., threaten to seek custody if the survivor does not comply with demands) or they may seek care time out of retaliation for ending the relationship.
- Threatening and attempting to get unsafe access to children: Using legal abuse may involve threatening or endangering children’s wellbeing. Gaining unsupervised time with children with little or no safeguards in place can create opportunities to continue the abuse, particularly in the absence of other avenues for face-to-face contact.
- Using in person proceedings: Many studies have documented the use of in person proceedings to cause distress. Those who use legal abuse may prolong a legal case or file repeated motions, requiring multiple court appearances. Such appearances and lengthy cases are time and cost intensive as well as emotionally draining and psychologically challenging.
- Dishonesty and distortion of information: Those who use legal abuse also may be dishonest and distort information to damage the credibility of the other parent or to emotionally abuse them. This can be humiliating as well as costly as survivors may need to dedicate resources to proving lies false. Survivors may also experience unfavorable parenting time decisions when they are made out to be alienating, vengeful, or unstable and thus unfit.
- Financial harm: Finally, those who use legal abuse commonly target finances. They may, for example, manipulate assets, lie about finances, withhold child support, or repeatedly take the survivor to court to reduce payments or avoid obligations. Such tactics not only harm survivors financially, but they can also lead to unsafe situations for children.
Legal abuse can lead to serious consequences for mental health, financial security, and vocational stability for those who are targeted. In qualitative research, survivors recount longstanding harms to themselves and their children. Enforcing clear boundaries, ensuring protections, and providing access to supportive services for all parties are critical steps when supporting those in recovery from abuse. Recognizing legal abuse and coercive control are essential first steps that can lead to implementing effective safety and support measures for affected families.
Learn More
To learn more about coercive control and legal abuse, the following trainings, written resources, and assessment tools may be helpful:
References
Dutton, M. A., & Goodman, L. A. (2005). Coercion in Intimate Partner Violence: Toward a New Conceptualization. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, 52(11-12), 743–756. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-005-4196-6
Gutowski, E., & Goodman, L. A. (2020). “Like I’m invisible”: IPV survivor-mothers’ perceptions of seeking child custody through the family court system. Journal of Family Violence, 35(5), 441–457. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-019-00063-1
Gutowski, E. R., & Goodman, L. A. (2022). Coercive control in the courtroom: The legal abuse scale (las). Journal of Family Violence. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-022-00408-3
Katz, E. (2022). Coercive control in children's and mothers' lives. Oxford University Press.
Lohmann, S., Felmingham, K., O’Donnell, M., & Cowlishaw, S. (2024). “It’s Like You’re a Living Hostage, and It Never Ends”: A Qualitative Examination of the Trauma and Mental Health Impacts of Coercive Control. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 48(4), 571-588. https://doi-org.myaccess.library.utoronto.ca/10.1177/03616843241269941
Xyrakis, N., Aquilina, B., McNiece, E., Tran, T., Waddell, C., Suomi, A., & Pasalich, D. (2024). Interparental coercive control and child and family outcomes: A systematic review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 25(1), 22–40. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380221139243
Ellen R. Gutowski, PhD CPsych, is a registered psychologist as well as an assistant professor at University of Toronto in the Department of Applied Psychology and Human Development at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education. Her research centers on intimate partner violence. She is particularly committed to understanding how systems-level responses to those affected may either promote well-being or unintentionally cause harm, and to identifying how providers and systems can be trauma-informed and anti-oppressive. She received her PhD from Boston College, completed a clinical fellowship at Harvard Medical School, and a doctoral residency at Emory School of Medicine. She has received a number of grants and awards for her research from agencies including Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada (SSHRC) and the American Society of Criminology.